
CONTENTS
TRANSLATOR'S INTRODUCTION ................................................... 2
WHO WAS BRUNO FILIPPI ?............................................................ 3
IN THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: In Memory
of Bruno Filippi, Renzo Novatore 4
THE FREE ART OF A FREE SPIRIT ................................................ 9
A CLOSED CHAPTER...................................................................... 21
THE CUSTOMS OF MOLES AND GALLANTS............................... 22
LE CHATEAU ROUGE...................................................................... 27
IN DEFENSE OF MATA HARI.......................................................... 31
ICONOCLAST.................................................................................... 33
HERO OR ASSASSIN? .................................................................... 35
THE FEDERATION OF SORROW.................................................. 38
IL ME FAUT VIVRE MA VIE.............................................................. 41
A DAY OFF......................................................................................... 44
DYNAMITE SPEAKS ........................................................................ 46
TRANSLATOR'S INTRODUCTION
The writings of
Bruno Filippi offer something rare in anarchist writing-truly beautiful literature.
I hope this comes across in my translations-where it does not, the fault is all
mine. Filippi entered upon his brief life of revolt at he age of 15, in the
midst of World War I, involving himself in anarchist anti-militarist activity.
Several of his brief works reflect the dehumanizing effects of military life
and participation in a slaughter that was qualitatively different from any war
up to that time in the sheer capacity for destruction. One could not rightly
speak of savagery" in relation, to this slaughter since its
destructive capacity was the precise outcome of the technological progress of
civilization. And at this time, some began to seriously question progress and
civilization themselves. Among them were anarchists like Bruno Filippi and Renzo
Novatore. In this light of this horrendous historical cataclysm, it should come
as no surprise that Filippi's writing is usually very dark and tinged with
cynicism.
His essays, stories and
prose poems show no mercy for either domination or subservience in any form,
and he was as harsh in his assessment of the slaves who resigned themselves to
their slavery as to the masters who exploited and oppressed them. He could be
faulted, like- Renzo Novatore, for his lack of class analysis. But when
watching the masses of the poor and working people go out without protest to
slaughter each other at the orders of their masters, it must have been
difficult for the few who did refuse this slaughter not to be disgusted by such
sheep-like behavior. In 1919, when their was an uprising in Italy, Filippi was
out there fighting with the insurgent exploited, clear about who was the enemy.
His writing is
bound to offend some who can only read through the lens of political
correctness. That is their problem. All forms of puritanical morality
impoverish existence.
Though his
writing is dark and often cynical, in the midst of his cynicism and contempt
there is also humor, joy and love of life. His hatred for the world as it is
clearly sprang from the love of life and the dream of a world free of all
domination.
WHO WAS BRUNO FILIPPI?
Little is known
about Bruno Filippi. He was born in 1900 in Livorno, Italy, the first of six
brothers, and his father was a typographer. His family moved to Milan when he
was still a child. In 1915, he was already known to the police who described
him as a "dangerous element". That same year, he was arrested during
an anti-militarist demonstration; he had a warm gun without bullets. He spent
some time in prison. After the war, in 1919, social unrest broke out throughout
the country. In Milan, there were often clashes with the police and Filippi was
among the rebels. In the summer, several young anarchists, including Filippi,
began to attack their enemies. A bob exploded at the Hall of Justice; there was
an attempt to injure one of the most powerful Italian capitalists, Giovanni
Breda, with sulfuric acid and a bomb exploded at his house; another bomb
exploded at the home of a rich senator.
On September 7, 1919, Bruno Filippi was climbing the steps of the
building where the "club of nobles" was located. He was carrying a
bomb, hoping to destroy this meeting place for the richest people of the city.
Suddenly, the bomb exploded, killing the young anarchist.
Bruno
Filippi was a regular contributor to the individualist anarchist paper Iconoclasta! In 1920, the editors of the
paper printed a booklet with many of his articles entitled Posthumous Writings of Bruno Filippi.
IN THE CIRCLE
OF LIFE
In Memory of Bruno Filippi
by
Renzo Novatore
The people who desire to be themselves never know where they are going.
The final outcome of knowledge consists in recognizing that the soul of
man is unknowable.
Without being
an imitator of rabid Papinian [Papini
was an old Italian author, apparently known for his cynicism.] cynicism or a
superficial and perfumed "voluptuary" like Guido Da Verona; without
feeling the ironic skepticism of and the sorrowful bitterness of Mario Marian
on my lips; I feel and affirm that life cannot be at all worthy of the name if
we do not live it as Artists, as Rebels, as Heroes.
Schopenhauer, in his powerful and frightful volumes of metaphysics, is
anxious to show us that Life is sad and that for this reason it isn't worth the
trouble of living it. But the art drawn from the most profound and lyrical
human sorrow throbs to exalt the heroic Beauty that in the divinatory
exaltation of symbol is transfigured
by creative joy that shows us savage purity, that sheds light on the loving
spirit, that teaches us to live Life madly. If .politics, socialism,
christianity, humanism, logic, coherence, right, duty, just and unjust, good
and evil, truth and justice, are already boring, vacuous and slumbering things,
phantoms that have grown dim and vanished in the anthropocentric sun of the
unique negator; parodies of a dying civilization that inspires nausea,
repugnance and contempt in us; Art teaches us the great love of Life. We have
the need to love it "up to the annihilation of being". Sorrow and Anguish are the pure fountain of pulsating Beauty for Art. It is in
the sulfurous chasms of Sorrow that Art lays its luminous roots in order to be
able to fling the verdant happiness of its branches high among the mysterious
conflicts of the winds, in the dance of Sun and Light where dreams, hope and
Beauty are founded on a tragic song of happiness and Greatness.
Yes! Every snow-covered peak that sings polyphonic symphonies of music
and poetry, of love and beauty, on high amidst the ethereal purity of light and
the golden caresses of the Sun, still rises from a dark abyss. Thus us Life!
Sorrow is our creative abyss, Joy and Happiness our mighty dream!
Even if sorrow does not make us better, "I think" says
Nietzsche--"that it makes us deeper." And in the mysterious depths of
our being the unknowable enigma toils and hides itself. Hour by hour, moment by
moment, it transmutes itself from unknown
emotion to known thought,
luminous and brilliant, that flashes its darting rays on virgin, purple peaks
of revelatory knowledge.
And then, just as vast and glittering strings of stars wandering in the
clarity of a cloudless night are reflected in the deep blue of a tranquil sea,
so the happiness created by and for ourselves is reflected, smiling, in the sad
sea of our sorrow; of this our sorrow that gave us Life!
We must never stop bringing our thoughts out of our sorrow and maternally
giving them that within us which is of blood, of heart, of fire, of joy, of
passion, of anguish, of knowledge, of destiny, of fatality.
"Life for us is to change all that we are and all that touches us
into light and flame, because we cannot do otherwise." This is the
circle-perhaps much too limited-of Life where we are perpetually knocked down
without being able to escape except through the silent paths of Death! But
Death does not frighten or terrorize us. On the contrary! We who proceed out of
the Unknown of eternity and go toward the eternity of the Unknown have learned
to look upon Death like any moment of our Life. And this is our most beautiful,
our most sublime mystery! This is the final word of knowledge. The unknowable!
And it is from this our unknowable singularity that the powerful and
diabolical voice of our ravenous desires rises. Desires of youthful flesh eager
for pleasure, the cry of the spirit panting for unlimited freedom, mad flights
of the .mind through the distant, unexplored unknown; howls and ferocious
blasphemies of our galloping and vagabond thought colliding with the much too
mysterious walls of eternity, triumphant and dionysian songs of a Life seen
dimly through the delirium of a dream, a dream composed of a Whole lost and
wandering in a Void. And in the void Death waits for us. This Death that is ours as Life is ours. This Death that we love!
But one should not be lowered
into the grave with a heart swollen with sadness and weeping. It is necessary
first to have lived in intensely as Artists, as Rebels, as Heroes, without ever
having bathed in the bitter waters of repentance that flow in christian rivers.
The true original and spirited sinner should not die drowning in the slimy
whirlpools of a slimier remorse, but rather enveloped in the rosy blaze of the
greatest sin. Before dying, we must be consumed to the last quivering spark of
our luxuriant thought, having made a feast of the world and an infinite
pleasure of action, Before dying, it is necessary-as Emerson said-to feel
everything become familiar to us, every event useful, every day holy, every
person divine. Then? "Then comes the nausea, the repugnance, the
loathing," says Bruno Filippi, and then one "dares" and daring
one goes with a calm and bright spirit toward the silent realm of Death where
the mind is disperses in the vast stillness of the Void and matter decomposes
in order to live another type of unknown life in the atoms. But for us even
Death should be a vigorous
manifestation of Life, Art and Beauty!
The Hero of Life goes toward Death accompanied by the tragically
triumphal march of dynamite and the head encircled with flowers. Yes, anyone
who has desired and been able to live as Rebel and Hero wants the freedom to
burn in a beautiful blaze ignited by the greatest sin so that the prelude to
death is nothing but a sweet and melancholy poem kissing a red dawn where the voice of Orpheus blends with the sobs of
Prometheus and the roaring, bacchic laughter of Dionysus resounds.
I admire Corrado Brando [A character from a novel by Gabrielle D' Annunzio.] with iconoclastic enthusiasm and atheistic religiosity even if his creator has not known how to die in time and has allowed the long rain of time to fall on his mind miraculously consuming and withering it; even though it was necessary to get drunk on the virgin and dangerous zarathustrian fountains gushing from the dizzying peaks of the merry and playful nietzschian solitude; even if the shitty little Catos [The Roman orator, Cato, was known for his rigid moralism.] of that putrid Thais, of the hateful Circe called Morality, flee in horror before him. Because Corrado Brando did not glorify crime as the fat and skinny idiots claim, but-with appropriate marks of the tragic art-the efficacy and dignity of crime conceived as promethean virtue are manifested. But while I admire this vigorous creature who blossomed luxuriously through the pagan mystery of the homerically tragic art that, as a symbol of sublime heroic beauty, exalts itself above the sky of Shadow and of Night as the fatal announcement of a brilliant dawn of blood, fire and light, I see "the anarchic individual" standing out from the grey twilight of reality, "he who obeys only his own law" in order to open the passage with bomb explosions" and live life crying like the god of the rynerian parable: "I love you and freely desire you, oh my Necessity!" It is Bruno Filippi! Spirit has made itself Thought, Thought has made itself Flesh in order to reappear as symbol. The tragic Hero of action has made himself the artist of Life in order to transmute himself into the Poet of the deed, as strong and implacable as the fatality of Destiny. Like the D'Annunzian Hero. He too said with his action: "The proof of my dignity is in the invisible miracle." And just as in Corrado Brando, the intoxication of the will had accumulated in him as a Dionysian frenzy. Like the protagonist of More Than Love, he also teaches us the fury and the whirlwind, because in him as well "the tempest raised all the forces of the soul and, tossing them about, it slammed them against a solid granite wall." Like all of the few frantic lovers of Life, he was a heroic poet of the deed who in the destruction of himself and of his Misfortunes created a tragic song to the "triumph of the imperishable will", to the cult of eternal Joy and Beauty. He offered all the corroding and luminous flames of his ardent, sorrowful and tortured mind. He, Bruno Filippi, in the delirious impulse of his annihilation, wanted to make the most intimate and sublime Sin acknowledge Life. Then he dissolved in the Void, a luminous and wandering voice that remains for us, incessantly whispering: "Dare, dare!" And at the desperately serene cry of this symbolic twenty year old voice, it seems to us that the romantically scented pagan earth smiles at us with a lyrical and amorous smile, saying to us: "hasten destiny and come to rest in my turgid breast, swollen with fruitful seeds." Since he was a poet, Bruno Filippi heard this voice. He heard it and he answered: "Oh good earth! ... I will come, I will come on the great day and you will welcome me into your arms, good, fragrant earth, and you will make the timid violets blossom on my head." Now that Bruno Filippi has taken all the roses and thoughts germinated in the vermilion garden of his spring winds into the grave, rejoicing in strength and youth, in will and mystery, "Oh earth, take back this body and recall what was strong for your future labors." Because I see in Him as well the "necessity of the crime that burdens the resolute man elevating him at last to the titanic condition."
Who was he? Where was he going?
Fools! And where have you gone? Where are you going?
He
was broken while breaking the chains that you, United in a cowardly and hateful
way in your manifold quality as dangerous lunatics, riveted logically and morally to his twenty year old rebel wrists in order to crush his Uniqueness, his mystery, because he was
incomprehensible to you, precisely as the complicated mind of one who feels
complete in himself must be. Bruno Filippi hated. But the forces of Hatred did
not crush the powers of Love within Him. He immolated himself in a fruitful
embrace with death because he madly loved Life. We have the need and the
entitlement to. say of him that which was said of the D'Annunzian hero:
"That the slaves of the marketplace turn around and remember!"
Row after row
of those who are more morally than physically chronic consumptives, pinheads,
cripples, hunchbacks, blind; horrible faces sculpted by vice, by syphilis, by
alcohol.
Whose toothless, yellow,
slobbering mouths vomited against my horrible insults.
All the hatred
that gurgles in your throat, forming two rivulets of slobber that run down from
the corners of your mouth, does not move me from my indifference.
Still you shake
your fist, which was trained to toss dung. And you women insult me as well, you
in whose womb human sorrow perpetuates itself. You are all vile, vile!
Despicable beings, worthy of the whip! Crawling reptiles in search of one
filthy crust of bread, dogs who lick the hand of anyone who beats you! Is it
for you, really for you, that I must rise up in revolt?
For you, for your children
and your mothers?
Carcasses
rotting in resignation, worm-eaten mummies of a decadent society, you deceive
yourselves. I wouldn't give the tiniest drop for your cause, nor even waste a
cigarette on you.
Go on with your
descent into the mud. While you bring yourselves down, I will climb. I will
rejoice in seeing the degeneration that makes its way inside you. I rejoice. I
rejoice.
Day after day,
your forehead recedes, your mouth becomes more sinister. Day after day, the
stigmata of putrefaction are noticed under your yellowing skin.
And I laugh, I laugh!
What a joy to be present at
the collapse of a world, to see blood, corpses, rot everywhere!
Meanwhile the bourgeoisie
and the people deceive each other and slaughter each other.
I am here, amused by all
this bustling about.
Here a Kaiser, there a Wilson and everywhere people who moan and don't rise up.
Into the mud,
reptile!
I do not want to unite with the multitude of
those who flatter the proletariat, excusing them, praising them, adorning them
with wreathes. No, oh distinguished windbags, your verve disguises nothing. The
"people" is always there, idiotic, cowardly, resigned. And I, who
consider myself superior, desire to be so, and both the bourgeoisie and the
proletariat will pay for my superiority. You languish in hunger and hardships,
you vegetate, bestially fertilizing wombs with a swarm of ragged, filthy,
scrofulous, stunted brats.
Force! You
raise your cowardly lament in chorus! You say that you are hungry. You stretch out your hand in
front of the shop window full of jewels. Do it, take it! You complain to each
other about the war when you yourselves Are its authors, and it continues
because you put up with it! But. I flee from your putridity that would sully
me. Proudly alone, 'I break the chains that link me to you and separate myself
from the pack of mangy dogs, submissive to the shepherd. I will wander the
world alone carrying my hatred and scorn everywhere. Alone in struggle. A one
in victory and in defeat. My ideas will be the poison that must end up
intoxicating you and you tremble before me as before the King, the supreme!...
And meanwhile,
I laugh at your grotesque and bloody throng, I laugh so much that I no longer
see anyone, and it seems to me that humanity is an immense gangrenous sore that
perpetually disgorges thick putrescent pus. And this sore is moved, shaken,
covered with scabs that later disappear in order to make way for another
disgorging of putrescent matter.
And I laugh and laugh!...
* * *
Most ancient roots of a sentimentalism that
has already ended,
why do you persist in your moldy ideas? Don't you here the thundering
life that pursues and teaches?
Absorbed up to now in a placid dream of peace, in a shining future, you
fought this way, with your eyes lost in your illusions. But now we pose a
problem, and you must have the courage to confront it and discuss it.
To you we pose the problem: to be or not to be. Up to now, your dream was altruism, sacrifice for humanity, for the future. And so you sacrificed your entire being in this inversion. Why should you care about the future? Why should you care about the progress of the people? Since you, who call yourselves anarchists, are sure to engage in a battle that is already lost for you before it has even started, since you will certainly not see the society of which you dream, and even if the people rebel, social conditions would not change for you and your rebellion would have to continue.
So what's the
use of going down among a mass that cannot comprehend you since its conditions
are such as to render you unintelligible to them? If you are rebel geniuses as
you claim, you should not replace Christian self-denial and patriotic servitude
with the altruism of the anarchist who sacrifices herself for a future he will
not see and this for people who do not comprehend you. You must recognize that,
being born into a society that is harmful to us, we rebels are in reality the
best slaves. Being slaves of evolution, by means of our sacrifice, we allow
humanity to take a tiny step. If only that were adequate, but since progress
never ends and is, therefore, useless, since once society has attained the
social form for which we fought it will not stop, but will need to go on toward
a goal that we can, tot imagine at all today, we must admit that all of our
bustling about is utterly without purpose. So we observe that the strongest and
best energies of every epoch are exploited by this immense leech that is
humanity.
Socrates,
Christ, Bruno and a vast multitude of great thinkers have been the victims of
this rising movement, which is harmful for anyone who submits to it. For it is
natural that the slaves in Rome, being born in that era, were content with
their condition just as wage-slaves are today.
Relative
contentment, let's be clear about it, formed of resignation, cowardice,
ignorance, etc., etc. Defects that the mass will always have in greater or
lesser degrees because collectivities are always inferior to individuals.
The people are conservative: they are satisfied with the society they find. The minority are innovators instead and therefore they rebel. The mass restrains revolutionary action with its brute weight and submits to it.
It grows accustomed to the new state of
things. It rots there until the minority rebels once again.
And do I have to suffer through this entire balancing act? I, who have the strength and awareness to be my own motive force, will not be the little cog that is overwhelmed, annihilated by the heavy social gears.
Rebel, because
today society oppresses me and tries to prevent the free expression of my
being, I use every weapon to fight it.
Rebel against
the mass that is also my enemy with its superstitions, morals, degradations,
etc. I fight against the mass as well. In struggle only for MY redemption, for
MY freedom, for MY present.
I don't give a
damn for all the rest.
The priest
triumphs, alcohol kills, the government slaughters; it means nothing to me
because it doesn't touch me.
I, I defend only myself
from attacks.
And if I should
fall in this unequal struggle, certainly not alone [* Alas, you did fall alone!
(Italian editor's note)] , I will have the sublime satisfaction of having risen
up against a world and having won intellectually if not materially.
Scholars,
scientists, poets, novelists, painters, this is why your genius is worthless in
front of me. You are a reflection of life, I am its essence. And you certainly,
feel atrocious pain in your hearts at seeing rhetorical castles collapse, and
in spite of it all you continue to support them out of hatred for anything new.
And, after all, you do well. You are born to crawl, I fly. For you the mud, for
me the peaks. For you cowardly annihilation, for me the sublimation of being.
And surely if life is for the strongest, I will have it. I will take it by
force and by force I will steal well-being and enjoyment.
And you,
parodies of human beings, continue on your march through darkness. The light
shines on my path. You are afraid to be: this is the truth. The true human
being frightens you. In spite of your rhetorical bluster, reality frightens.
You dream, you dream. I live. You are not; I am.
I have solved
the problem. You howl at me from behind.
* * *
"I would like to lie down on a soft, fragrant
bed of roses... " "Watch out for the thorns" they cry out to me.
"And what do they matter to me? Since thorns are not lacking in life, I
prefer those of the roses that give joy with the pain."
* * *
And fine. You
who are reading this can say that my prose is crazy, abnormal, as you have
called my actions crazy and abnormal. But your judgment doesn't interest me at
all nor do I solicit it.
I only desire
superior minds to know why I hurled myself into the darkness due to an
indescribable feeling; I want the opposing mercenary pen to be unable to cover
my name with the trash that is in their baggage. 1 alone am the reporter of
myself: I flee the intermediaries who would, in good or bad faith, deform my
ideas. And since I will probably not be able to reveal them, I desire that
after my disappearance it is known how I determined this struggle against
society. Therefore, I entrust these thoughts to a person who does not know my
project and who will reveal them when the curtain falls.
* * *
Is it the
haziness of the universe that still saddens me with its hazy mist? Is it a dark
fate that threatens me? I don't know what causes this melancholy that depresses
me, delighting in tormenting me, snatching all that I fool myself into loving
and believing away from me.
Oh! The joyful
faith of times past when I gladly fought the good fight for the Idea, without
fears without doubts. Now, however, it all seems vain to me; for everywhere I
perceive dense and impenetrable darkness.
I have
destroyed everything, everything, and now I am left with my sad thoughts,
doubting everything, all of it. And I feel this need to spread my thoughts on
this blank sheet that has not shuddered at learning of the storm that torments
me. Who will read these lines? Perhaps nobody. They will remain unknown as nothing
is known about those who are familiar with the weariness of my thought.
* * *
This evening,
as usual, I was reading when a passage of the piece struck me vividly and I
then stopped reading to reflect. I was just then musing when, turning my eyes
absent-mindedly about the room I looked, and more, I saw myself seated on the bed. Not I, but yet it was I, because he
was absolutely like me. Amazed, I gazed in silence, and he, the other I, looked at me as well, but
with a certain ironic smile.
"Who are
you?" I asked him. "Your shadow," he answered. "I have come
her for a bit of discussion." "Let's discuss, then," I replied.
"Well: why
are you an anarchist?" "Why, because currently we are exploited,
trampled by rulers."
"Rhetoric,
rhetoric, my dear. Listen: you are an anarchist and you don't even know why. I
have always noticed this: that in every society there have been innovators who
end up on the stake, on the cross and so on and so on. So these innovators with
al) their dreams and sacrifices failed miserably, because any rerewal,
anticipated by any individual whatsoever, occurs a long time after the death of
that individual. And this is what will happen with you anarchists. You will die
without seeing any one of your ideals carried out, and the generation after
you, which may live in an anarchist society, will long for a higher ideal and
will die in their turn without achieving anything. It's a vicious circle, an
eternal chasing after oneself.
* * *
Today as never
before, the shadows surrounded me. And indeed it happens that after living for
some time surrounded by the warmth of the sun, when it is eclipsed, one is
shaken with a sudden chill.
The cold has
entered my mind that dreams of a future of warmth and sees it in the far
distance, or, as someone told me, almost
out of reach. How sad these words are. You say to the
swallow that takes flight in search of the spring that she will never reach it;
you will see her fold her wings lost, discouraged. I do not stop, I do not fold
my wings. Who knows that the distant dawn cannot be reached; who knows?
My spirit is
dry as a desert, my eyes burn as if with fever. And it seems that with each
stroke something inside breaks with a mournful crash. Who, who could describe
what I feel? Not even I myself can do it. At times I feel my mind spreading
out, expanding, glad, confident. And then, at a stroke, it shrivels suddenly
with a most acute sorrow. What does the world, what does humanity matter to me?
I no longer see anyone. My eyes see only one thing, a distant dawning.
Everything else is shadow.
Laughing nature
irritates me since it clashes with my sorrowful thoughts and almost seems to
mock me. I would prefer that the sky was dark and flashing like me at these
times. Like the shipwrecked person who finds himself in the desolate vastness
of the ocean and trembles at the baleful solitude, keeping an eye on the
horizon in hope of seeing a friendly sail appear, I also feel alone, painfully
alone, lost in a fearful vastness. But I will not let myself be overcome by
waves. I will plow the sea with my vigorous arms in my search, an untiring and
daring wayfarer.
Fluctuat in porto. The Latin motto spurs me on
and I gaze like the helmsman at the lighthouse in the distance that pierces the
fog with its beam of the light. And I want to reach that light. I will, I will!
No obstacle will keep me from it, neither reefs nor blustery gales. I will be
strong, I will arrive. Like the Arab
caravans preparing to cross the Sahara and observing the sandy vastness that
they will have to cross with fear, with the anxiety of being lost along the
way, that still go on and on and on, under the blazing sun, amid the raging of
the simoom, thirsty, hungry, tired, beside humped camels that widen their
nostrils in order to steal a little coolness from the dry air, with the urgent,
fixed vision of a slender white mosque from which the muezzin salutes Mecca in
the evening, of a cool village ' in which to rest, thus I also go on and on and
on with a single vision in my eyes. Untiring, I go on, choking with an entire
tempest inside me If what 1 feel could be changed into wind, I would pass like
a devastating storm, destroying everything under my violent blows. And I go on,
I go on. My mind suffers, my eyelids close; I feel a need for peace, for rest,
the enticement to remain so on the sand, to vanish, to disappear under the sun,
to return to the void. The jackals would come and make a feast of my body,
leaving only my blanching skeleton as a mute mockery of life. But I rise up, I
kill the germ of peace and go on. I will arrive because I desire it. And if I
don't arrive? Then the desert will take possession of me.
* * *
I have fallen
ill with the same disease as Nietzsche and it displeases me to admit having
anything in common with this or the other world. I am restless and
neurasthenic. I have an iron hoop on my head that crushes my skull, and my eyes
throb in their sockets, swollen and bloody, tired of dreams. I am destined to
pass through this world, wandering like an invisible meteor. Precisely because
I am superior, I will have to empty the entire cup of sorrow and distress with
no joy to cheer me. But the harsh intoxication of drinking from the chalice of
sorrow is a superb pleasure that only one who tears his soul to shreds by
himself, with his own hands, is given to taste. Still I sometimes covet the
other cup, thee cup of joy, in order to moisten my greedy lips with it, but it
flees and now, day after day, the chasm that separates me from others frightens
me. Who will come with me? Who will have the courage to fly over the gulf in
order to listen to my truth, in order to disperse a little of my sadness? Who?
... Yesterday at the peak of my weariness, I received a postcard from an
unknown woman. Three violets that cheered me up a bit with my gaiety of the
thought and the symbol: twelve words that made me dream pleasantly.
I thank the
unknown woman for her thought and for her mysteriousness that allows me to rise
in flight on the winged horse of reverie. Gentle unknown woman, where are you?
Perhaps in passionate Andalusia or in gay France? Who knows? Any one who knows
that she, the unknown woman, is the ray of light! ... No,. impossible! Inside
me lies thick darkness. I don't think, I don't speak, but I desire the sun, the
light.
* * *
I wander through the voracious city, immersing myself in the din of life in order to kill a germ of melancholy that is developing inside me. I wander aimlessly and observe the incessant hustle and bustle, the continuous parade of stereotyped and indifferent Faces. Flashy women pass, and in all their movements and their simplest gestures you see the effort, the ostentation, aimed only at arousing desire. And men stop, follow the gaudy, buxom figurine with a greedy eye and make vulgar comments. Here is a crowd of orphans, badly stuffed into poorly made clothes. They go by guided by a stocky, vulgar priest. Poor babies! Raised in bigotry, in the corrupt atmosphere of the boarding school, they are resigned, the helots of tomorrow. I see a church. A coarse pastor talks with the devoted women who listen to him, repentant and attentive, and the priestling shakes the hairy hands and turns his eyes away throwing sidelong glances. The well-fed one in the shadow of the temple of lies hears the howls of work and misery that seem to hover over the great city with anger. "Spare change, sir," a filthy ragged being moans... "Spare change, sir..." And the crowd goes by, uncaring, thinking of the evening's soup, the tavern, the bowling game. And the call of the beggar continues, annoying and implacable, making my head pound, making my brain throb.
I quicken my
pace; I am in the wealthy district. Carriages, automobiles, liveried servants
with idiotic faces open car doors and bow. I see women wearing make-up and
perfume, preened dandies with kid gloves, monocles, walking sticks, tricolor
cockades. These people collide and mingle: they speak of dinner and dancers. A
nauseating scent rises that takes me by the throat and chokes me. But I remain,
nearly spellbound, hearing the rustling of silk, the twittering of the
gentlewomen. The notes of a patriotic anthem come billowing out of a cafe:
there is a cripple standing near to me, leaning on crutches, who watches the
endless stream in amazement.
I flee. I walk
through solitary, half-lit streets: I come out in squares, in alleys.
Ragged, dirty
children, pregnant women, people black from smoke and stinking of cigarette
butts. Dump, crumbling houses, corners smelling of piss, taverns full of
drunken, shouting customers. Here are the soldiers: with heavy steps, in
rhythm, sweaty, dusty, furrowed faces, bent backs. The people go out, look,
comment, commiserate and then go back to drinking, shouting, singing.
Again I flee.
On the corners I see the announcements for various operettas and cafe
chanteuses: I hear a crowd of young men discussing soccer and cycling. Poor
humanity that rises!
I leave the
streets, I go deep into the meadows. I want to forget, to dream. A figure comes
out from a group of trees and approaches me. I feel the scent of wine strike my
nostrils. "Come, you will give me thirty cents!"
* * *
I have dreamed
of a world in flames, rolling in the infinite and hurling red-hot meteors and
sparks through the starry spaces.
* * *
I have a god like
everyone else; but this god is myself. [In Italian this is a wordplay that does
not translate. In Italian, "god" is "dio" and "I"
is "io". A literal translation of this sentence would be: "I
have a god [dio) like everyone else;
but it is without the "d".]
* *
Decadence.
Today various
nations butt their heads together like enormous rams, each desiring supremacy
over the others.
The romantic
Latin lands and mercantile Albion against imperial Germany while the tiny
Balkan lands trail behind with the picturesque baggage of their backward
eastern customs. And Russia blazes on the horizon as it enters a new phase of
its life.
In the East,
civilizations renewed and reinvigorated by fresh energies look to the north
where the fine odor of corpses can be smelled, and the little children of the
sun hope that they can spread their over-abundant population here in a renewed
expansion of Asiatic civilization.
And yet this
spectacle, this mad squandering of energy, this relentless struggle for life,
reveals no ardor for real and conscious strength to me at all. I see only an
immense breakdown, a demolition of castles, a mortal collision between nations,
while the indifferent earth opens its breast to receive the young flesh that
will fertilize it. This magnificently terrible decadence occurs in the titanic
light of a colossal fire, suitable for the collapse of this civilization.
So I see this
vast entanglement of people, I see death by alcohol, tuberculosis, cannons. I
see cripples, consumptives, idiots, delinquents.
Literature,
art, science, the influx of this monstrous invasion replaces everything. The
whole world is nothing but a teeming putrefaction that rises, rises and invades
everything and swallows it up.
Humanity
considers itself noble. It speaks of heroism, of progress and is not aware of
its infection. The abyss has opened up and humanity falls into it singing,
howling, quarreling, with its god, its fatherland, its murderous civilization,
its elegant degeneration.
Everything
falls, everything collapses. Moldy morality, twisted and lying philosophies,
out-dated rhetoric do not redeem the situation. The disease has advanced and
there is no longer any way to prevent it. The tidbits that adorn the old
structure have become the home of infectious microbes. Everything is already
condemned to disappear, crushed under the enormous pile of old rubbish. History
closes this curious phase, which presented, he incomprehensible spectacle of
inertia in members devoted to a throng of various non-existent phantoms, and
which saw continuous ridiculous construction in order to then destroy, the
continuous patient suffering of the multitudes and the revelry of the few,
everything creating an ensemble of cowardice, inversion, wickedness that they
would try to pass off as heroism, everything a withered mentality that they
call inspired.
So this age has
ended. Good riddance. In the presence of such ruins, I sing of the disaster, a
new Nero. I revel in seeing it. Then on these ruins, I will build my edifice, my civilization, my world.
Therefore, I sing...
* * *
"HIM"
That imbecile
was a living puzzle. You never knew what he had in his skull.
Ugly, with a
head of hair like Absalom, he looked like a Rasputin who had bathed. Two clear
eyes that never flashed, but at certain moments blew an ice-cold wind.
If you want to
know any more about him, go into the tunnel. You will see a great wool scarf
with a hat above it. That's him. Stop him. Greet him. Even if he doesn't know
you, he won't be surprised to see you. Offer him a cigarette (otherwise, he
will ask you for one!) and he will graciously speak with you. Later, if you pay
him a bottle of Judas' blood [A name for a kind of red wine in
Italy.-translator], then he will clear up some paradox that disturbed you. But
don't fool yourself into think you understand his idea. Within one quarter
hour, he will be anarchist, bourgeois, aristocrat, occultist, futurist, etc.,
etc. He will break your eardrums with the words he spouts; he will mock the
hell out of you with an air of seriousness.
And don't take
offense, because, after all, at that moment he will feel a great fondness for
you. He might even kiss you. He is horribly neurasthenic. If you notice that he
has grown silent and is smoking furiously, you will only manage to draw
inconclusive words from his mouth. At that moment he desires two people; the
one most desired is of no concern to you, the other is his dear little
numbskull.
If he finds
her, if he takes her in his arms, if he leaves with her. What carnage then!
They are
capable of breaking windows in houses, trying to
derail
streetcars, spitting on old men's coats...
Creatures from
another world, I tell you... marvelous rascals. This is "He"!
The sad task of obituary writer is mine. It is sad to write a page with a heart that asks: and then what? But we are dedicated to the struggle: or to succeed in disappearing. It is inevitable and so one of us inevitably vanishes.
Uh! And how the imbeciles will howl: willful anarchist! Who can understand the storm that roars in our brain? Who can understand our hunger for joy, for life? Who can understand our defeat due to human cowardice?
We are alone. We did not find the group of daredevils ready to participate in the struggle for the conquest of life.
Therefore, we were defeated.
And one of us
has vanished. The other remains with his eyes fixed on the horizon. He cannot,
he must not depart. This is our destiny. Will we find comrades?
Otherwise, each
in our own way, we will disappear, silent or tumultuous, from the stage of the
world.
A chapter has
closed.
A chapter of
struggle, of hopes, of illusions. But the end has not come. As these strange,
unusual lives come to an end, we will come to understand that it would have
been better if they had never been born.
And that's all
there is to say.
(Summer 1918)
THE CUSTOMS OF MOLES AND
It happened at the Black Cat tavern.
It was a stormy night, filled with lightning and thunder; I don't
remember which season it was, maybe autumn. They were seated on a wooden board
that had become detached from the chair back thanks to who knows how many
drunken battles. The innkeeper, a fat and oily woman who oozed the grease of
her saucepan from every pore, watched these singular events with amazement.
And she had good reason! Such odd fellows are certainly not found
everywhere. Mud-stained, with great, black cloaks and hats that dripped, they
would have frightened the tranquil bourgeois and raised suspicion in the wary
police officer.
And then, such talk... She kept listening and hooted.
"Hey! Maker of poisoned meatballs, bring us some wine!" The
wine was served, and they paid and drank.
"Listen, dear little Numbskull, if they hadn't opened our S.
Martino quickly, there would not have been a gross."
"You are right. It is already three months since I have had the
Pinecone. I am hopeless."
The others listened and nodded, then: "The moon is hidden."
"But we are the shadows."
"Let's call the roll."
The roll call began; a fellow named Maggot with a frightful head of gypsy
hair called the names.
"Little Numbskull... "
"I'm awake."
"Tooth."
"I'm waiting."
"Spike."
"I'm drinking."
"Doll."
"I'm sucking my finger."
"Glass-eye."
"I'm yawning."
"Wormwood."
Doll stopped sucking his finger and said: "He's in prison."
Maggot wrote and afterwards asked:
"I see two others here, who are they? Who is introducing them?"
Tooth came forward:
"Illustrious Maggot, I dare to propose that two new moles be made
part of our brotherhood. Their academic qualifications are:
"#I They drink like Russians."
The assembly grunted with satisfaction.
"#2 They hate work."
The grunt became clearly friendly.
"#3 They have already spent twenty years in prison. They live by
night. They are fearless. They are ready for everything, if only they could be
well off and live. That's all. I'm honored to ask the illustrious Maggot to
graciously accept them by giving them a tap on the nose. To him and the
assembly, the judgment. I am done."
Then Maggot said:
"You have heard it, Gallants; will you accept them?"
A formidable hurrah made the worn-out tavern ceiling crack even more.
"Okay, you two, step forward!"
The two initiates came forward.
"You see that our favorite wine is Judas' blood. You are in the
league of those who laugh. Take care never to weep."
After saying this, he gave them the customary tap on the nose. "You
will be Scratch, and you Gridiron, return to your places
and celebrate."
There was an uproar. Songs, shouts, wild leaps. Glasses and bottles
danced from hand to hand in dizzy confusion.
In the outburst of joy, Little Numbskull went to embrace the innkeeper
who fearfully protected herself. Then at a gesture a chorus arose:
Today we are dark
Tomorrow we will be fair
And youthful once again
To I...I...I...I...
Maggot howled like a wolf and silence was established once more.
"Attention," he said, "smoke."
Everyone took out cigarettes and began to smoke. A cloud of smoke
surrounded them.
"Gallants, a sad situation, a chain has bound the world. Everywhere
you see surly mugs, everywhere, neckties are carefully knotted and hair is cut.
Everywhere you turn your eyes you see curled up whiskers and derby hats. The
books, the newspapers, in short, everything is grey, foggy. People speak of
affairs and backroom politics. People struggle against alcohol and applaud
members of Parliament. It is necessary to kill the tyrant who brings this
about. In order to laugh at the world, for joy, freedom from worry, folly, we
must get rid of this pestiferous odor. Gallants, it is necessary to kill
‘Gravity’."
An immense
"bravo" echoed.
In the meantime, the door had opened and individual had entered after
leaving a black horse at the window grating. Upon hearing these last words, he
came closer and said:
"I stand with you in this as well."
"Who are you?" they asked.
"Don't worry about that since I am here."
Maggot chimed in:
"You must at least tell me your name."
The stranger hesitated a moment and then whispered softly in
Maggot's ear. Maggot regarded him with amazement and shook his hand. Then
he turned to the others:
"He can come along. I am not responsible. Let's go then and get on
with it."
They all left. The storm had ended and he sky was filled with stars. The
group marched in silence, led by Maggot and the
stranger.
When they came to a crossroad, Maggot turned and spoke:
"Everyone will wander through his street and pick up a piece of
gravity. We well meet again at midnight in the graveyard and justice will be
done."
Everyone left to do his part. Maggot and the stranger remained alone.
"So, are you really Christ?
"Does this surprise you?"
"A little, I must admit."
Christ sighed and said:
"What do you desire? I desired the good man and I had the hypocrite.
I desired the natural man and I had him corrupted. I who believed in being
great myself and lived in such hope, have seen the birth of the idiot. Then I
said: Let's feel the madness, since everyone is mad and then man will harmonize
with his environment. I have met you and I will help you."
They set out for the graveyard in silence. When they arrived, they
entered and waited, sitting on a grave.
Midnight struck slowly, slowly. Suddenly the shadows stirred on every
side. Maggot whistled and everyone gathered around him. They all had such huge
loads that no one could figure out how they had managed to carry it all there.
They started to build a fire. And with what did they fuel it? With books of
philosophy, history, science and so on. Astronomical instruments, paintings,
statues, military uniforms and priest's robes, furniture, museums, hospitals,
schools, universities. In short, everything that formed the heritage of our
times, because all of it was serious. The gigantic pile was prepared and
someone was already approaching it to light the fire when the stranger stopped
him and said:
"Stop! What has humanity ever done for you that you choose to
liberate it? Nothing! What will it give you when you have liberated it?
Nothing! Let's allow it to rot in its sadness. Let's think of ourselves. Every
one of us has a little gravity inside ourselves. Let's pull it out. I'll give
you an example." And saying this, lie pulled out a book and threw it on
the ground. A few of them looked. It was the Gospel. Everyone then threw
something, and a small pile was raised next to the mammoth one. The flame was
kindled. When everything had burned, the breasts of those present no longer
felt oppression. They were all glad and laughed heartily. And laughing, they
disappeared into the night as the sound of their anthem echoed in the silence.
But Christ remained behind. He scampered like a madcap splitting his sides with
laughter. Then he opened a tomb and hid in it, saying:
"I think I'll pull a prank on the gravedigger!"
* * *
This is how gravity was put to death in a graveyard by the Moles and Gallants.
De Profundis...
They had seen her one morning as she left her bungalow hidden among the rose bushes and set out on mountain trails damp with dew and soft with moss. And they had followed her, drawn by the spellbinding power of her beauty.
They walked along, softly singing, amid the rays of the sun that made her
hair shine and surrounded her like a halo of light. Seen in this way, radiant,
with all the gold around her head, she seemed to be a vision from a dream,
impossible in reality.
After a long walk, she found herself once again in front of her bungalow.
In their contemplation, they hadn't noticed that they had come too close. So
she glanced over at them, seeing these men so singular in their persons and
dress, she paused a moment, dismayed. Then she laughed suddenly and disappeared
among
the roses.
They were left speechless, with a final vision of gold and white, and
with the ringing laughter that continued to tinkle in their ears.
* *
*
La Chateau Rouge rose
in an utterly desolate clearing in the mountains. It was already an
ancient ruin, picturesque and melancholy. It was beautiful in its collapse,
covered in ivy and moss with dense undergrowth as a background, so thick that
it extended as far as the eye could see. The mountaineers from the surrounding
countryside shunned these places with the customary fear of ghosts, and so
solitude and silence reigned there. It was night. The moon illuminated the castle
with a picturesque play of shadows. One saw dark spaces, menacing battlements,
massive iron gates; and the ear waited for the sound of a mandolin or the
warning of a sentry.
Suddenly, strange profiles sand out in the semi-darkness. Whistles are
heard, footsteps, and then silence.
* * *
We are in the underground passages of the castle; a singular assembly of
people is gathered there. One of them speaks:
"Comrades, I have noticed that you are disturbed. I have seen the
admiration in your eyes. This woman is a symbol for us, she must be ours, and
this will be. But, comrades, are you certain that no individual selfishness is
beginning to develop, and that none of you desires her to be his and his alone?
Because then our little world would be forced to disappear for the sake of a
woman. Think about it, comrades."
There was silence. A shudder passed through the men. A sob was heard. It
was the youngest of them who wept. No one was surprised. They all felt a bit of
this sadness within themselves. The weeper stepped forward:
"Listen to me, Maggot; listen to me, comrades. I am a vile creature.
I have let myself be bewitched by this female and I feel that I would do
anything for her. I would even betray you. Comrades, punish me."
He stood there waiting.
A deep emotion filled them all. No one dared to reproach. Those words and
that anguish were in all of their hearts. Maggot stood up and said:
"You will have to leave it to me to do this. Consider, however, that I will lock you i